Last year on this day I wrote a blog that I titled 20/20 VISION. I was wondering back then if it would be possible for everyone to have clear vision in the upcoming year. I cited the words of the Johnny Nash song “I Can See Clearly Now”. Well, the whole world turned upside down this year. No one was seeing anything clearly. Too bad Johnny Nash is no longer with us to write another feel good song.
I am sure for most of us this year has been a blur. Many days have just blended together. When asked what day it is you can answer “It’s Blursday”. When I first heard this I thought, that is perfect! It does not seem like a rear view mirror could properly downsize all of the horror of this year. Nothing could possibly be worse than what I’ve gone through and what I am still going through. Taking everything into account I’ve decided that I, as well as everyone else, needs to keep moving forward. I can move forward with less fear and less worry because I have already lost so much. Is it possible to be positive? Is the human spirit strong enough?
We have to keep planning. Yes, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”. But we need to keep planning. If it goes in a different direction perhaps it can lead to something good for you. When in doubt, PLAN. Someone calls and says, do you want to go to the park? My mind says, “No thanks”, but out of my mouth comes “What time”? My subconscious is telling me to PLAN.
We all need a season of adventure. I know this is what my husband would want me to be thinking about after the last 9 months and I am really trying.
Here we are almost at 2021. I wish you all a blessed New Year. I wish for happiness and good health for you and the planet Earth. And as I say every year at this time, I hope that each day surprises you with something wonderful. Stay well.
Artist Suzanne Brennan Firstenberg created an art installation in Washington DC. It was a field filled with white flags. Each flag represented someone who died of Covid-19. The exhibit opened on October 23 and closed on November 30, 2020. The exhibit was titled “In America How Could This Happen”. Ms Firstenberg would update the total number of people who had died and add a white flag to represent their death. On the weekend my friend was at the exhibit the total was listed at 263,525. Less than one month has passed and the total is now 319,763. I wish I had seen this. There was an article in National Geographic by Sydney Combs about the installation. Quoting Ms Firstenberg, “look at a single flag…now conjure up a story. Think of it as a school teacher who just lost her life.” She paints a picture of all those stricken by that death. “Try to hold all of that grief-and then look up and multiply”, she said referring to all the flags. The article goes on to talk about how people across the country, including artists like Ms Firstenberg, “are doing what they can to humanize statistics and create spaces for mourning”.
For those of us living with the death of one of the 319,763 souls there is no way to be consoled. It is almost 9 months since I lost my husband. 264 days. 6,336 hours. Everyday I have to hear how many more people have died. Everyday I get to think about how I could not be with my husband as he died, how he could not have Last Rites, how there was no wake, how there was no funeral, how we did not get to celebrate his life. Everyday I get to think about the hole in my heart, the hole in our family. Everyday I get to think about how much I have to tell him about or wonder what his opinion would be about something. I just always thought we’d have so much time. We had so many more plans of what we wanted to do.
My friends and family have been tremendous support for me. I was fortunate enough to get a bereavement group specifically for Covid families. From that group I still have weekly zoom conversations with two women with whom I have formed a bond. We refer to each other as “grief sisters” or “covid widows”. We three understand exactly what each other is feeling.
My advice to anyone reading this blog is the following: in our presence NEVER talk about how the death total from this virus could have been so much worse than it is and NEVER say how such a large percentage of people only had flu-like symptoms. Be filled with gratitude if someone you loved recovered from whatever they suffered from. Consider yourself incredibly fortunate if you were not impacted in any way by this virus.
Our loved one’s place can not be filled. Please show respect for all those who have died by wearing a mask and getting a vaccine as soon as you can.
Since Joy seems to be in short supply this year, I thought perhaps some shopping could help. Writing about fashion finds and products of interest is a creative outlet for me that I find to be restorative.
In a “normal” year, by now I would have written several blogs about what you should be adding to your wardrobe and what you simply could not live without. Boy, this year has certainly crushed all of that. But, there are still things you can add to your closet even in these shelter-in-place times.
First things first. For the most part you are being seen waist up. Let’s call it dressing for the zoom. You need to make sure that you do give some attention to what you are wearing. Determine what your best colors are. What are you wearing when you get the most compliments? Figure that out and then you and your zoom callers will be uplifted. You can even add something with sparkle and perhaps some daytime sequins to really get festive. Even though you may be drinking wine in the happy hour time or coffee if it is a morning call, don’t forget lipstick. You remember lipstick, right? We would never leave the house without it, but now we don’t want it to be smeared all over our masks. But, having it on for a zoom call is a must do. I found just the right product. It is from Tarte cosmetics. It is Tarte Maracuja Juicy Lip. It smooths and plumps your lips. It adds moisture to your lips and gives you a mirror shine that is not sticky. It is available at QVC, Sephora, and Macy’s.
There are days when you can venture out for a proper socially distanced lunch. This might be either in the park or at a restaurant that is accommodating what we need by giving us outdoor seating under a tent with heaters and cross ventilation. But, let’s admit it, now that it is December even with the addition of the heaters it can get pretty chilly. So, your outerwear needs to be just right. Puffer jackets continue to be best sellers along with Sherpa -Teddy Bear knits. I ordered a very well priced sherpa jacket that reverses to polar fleece from Susan Graver at QVC that is very toasty. Pop on a knit hat and a pair of fingerless gloves and you are ready for lunch.
The holidays are upon us so ordering gifts is a high priority now. For the women on your list I would recommend body lotions and bath products. Giving a beautiful scent can turn the shower or bath experience into a mini escape which is so well deserved. I have two favorite brands in this category. Philosophy has been a favorite line for me for many years. My favorite scents in bath and lotion are Gingerbread Man, FreshCream, Sweet Vanilla Fig, Apricots and Cream and Lemon Custard. Another line I am now using is Korres Olive Oil products. My favorite in this line is Olive Blossom. I got hooked on olive products after being in Greece in 2019. For skin care I recommend Rodan+Fields. Their multi function eye cream is sensational.
The mainstay of my gift giving searches are for my favorite little humans (AKA- my grandchildren). Of course I rely heavily on my daughter-in-law’s suggestions but I have a couple of extra gifts this year that were not on their list. One is PicassoTiles which are magnetic 3D building blocks. (available on Amazon in a variety of sets) I can’t wait to see this. It should arrive soon. This may drive my daughter-in-law crazy because there are so many pieces. I also found stuffed prayer animals for the two little ones. Press the tummy and prayers are recited. I got these at The Catholic Company on line.
Books make great gifts. I have several suggestions for a variety of tastes. Waves of Hope by Ronald EdwardNegra is a true story about Agnes Negra who was a wave of hope for so many families of prisoners of war in WWII. She would listen to her short wave radio and pass along information to families of servicemen. It gives me goosebumps to think about how a family felt when she would give them information. The story is so well done. (available on Amazon, Barnes&Noble). For a mom, I recommend Octopus Mom by Jill Goldberg. This book is a complete delight. Some days I think my grandchildren believe their mom is an octopus. I gave this to my daughter-in-law and she and the kids loved it (available on Amazon). A fun “chick book” is Girls Who Wear Glasses by Jennifer Inglis (available on Amazon). And last, but certainly not least is Think Like A Monk by Jay Shetty (available on Amazon). I am in the process of reading this one. It sounds like a book I can use right now to help me find my purpose and shift my focus after all I’ve been through this year. Tom would like knowing that I’m going to work on getting my mojo back.
I’m still working on gifts for the rest of the family. I’ve gotten several thing already but they may read this and I hate to spoil any surprises. Of course as Tom would say, my boys like anything green!! I know that, but I still like everyone to have packages to open and not just an envelop.
Wishing you all a blessed holiday and let us all look forward to 2021 and a vaccine. That will be the greatest gift of all.
How To Wow Now 
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