With the way I feel about traveling this had to happen eventually. I took my first “real” vacation without Tom. Until now I had taken two trips to visit my buddies in Virginia and Florida, but this was the first “real” trip. One of my best friends was celebrating a decade changing birthday and the rest of our quad decided to join a mini cruise in the Bahamas that my friend’s family planned for her. It was a surprise that we would be joining her. She really was shocked to see her three friends (plus one husband) at the bar before dinner.

Her surprise and her reaction of pure joy made it worthwhile. As much as I wanted to be in a celebrating mood it was very hard for me. Cruising was a favorite for Tom and me. It has been a difficult time for me. The grieving comes in waves and at times it is overwhelming. I feel like I fell back even further in the process because I had some major health issues to deal with this year. This added to my feeling the loss of my husband. And I learned that when there is no choice, the strength does come from somewhere. I am very fortunate to have a network of loving and supportive family and friends. That is behind me now, but I continue to grieve. I am happy for anyone who cannot understand this because that means they have not experienced it. This can only be understood by those who have gone through it or are going through it. I know that people say you have to get over it, but you don’t get “over” it. You have to get through it. What I do have to get “over” is feeling like I have any control over it. I have to make adjustments to having a life that is not what I thought it would be. I have to look at what is in front of me and embrace it for what it is. I can actually hear Tom saying that to me.

I know there are days when it required a lot of patience from my friends to just bear with my lack of enthusiasm. Of course, it didn’t help that every day was a bad hair day with all of the heat and off-the- chart humidity!

All in all, it was a good voyage and a necessary passage for me to go through. The days at sea provided me with some wonderful clouds, sunsets and a lighthouse to photograph. And of course, the friendship which cannot be put into words. There was even a heart formation in the clouds on a day when I needed a message from Tom. I am hoping that traveling becomes easier as I get out and about. Maybe this transition would be easier if only Tom hadn’t been the BEST traveling companion, or for that matter, the BEST everything. Just have to get my mojo back.

Here are some of my photos of clouds and sunsets and the trip.

I gave this makeup bag to my three friends on the trip.