I thought it was time to venture out and see what is going on in the retail stores. For many of you who have not GONE shopping since the pandemic began this would be an adventure. For example, you would have to get dressed and you would not be clicking “add to cart”.

I went to the Garden State Plaza primarily to look at Nordstrom’s spring sales prior to the preseason sale in July. Really missed that “excitement” last year. My observation in Nordstrom was that their inventory was in pretty good shape. They had some sale items but it was not overwhelming. What was there was seasonal apparel and it looked fresh and colorful. Oranges and citrus colors prevailed.

I did buy myself a couple of things but only very colorful items that made me feel happy. I spoke with a sales associate and she says that’s how all of her customers have been feeling. She also told me that business has been picking up and that the day before Mother’s day was like Christmas Eve pre-Covid. That is very good news.

Next I went to peek at fast fashion at H&M. There I saw similar colors and all casual, comfortable items. There was plenty of clearance merchandise.

Next was a stop at Macys. Again, the color story prevailed!

Along the way I also hit Michael Kors, Zara and Banana Republic.

I have to say the biggest color on display was ORANGE. Orange you glad you have me to tell you that???

It felt good to be back out shopping in the stores. Its nice for a change not to have to figure out what the fabric feels like or how it fits. Immediate gratification. You don’t have to wait for UPS to arrive. Give it a try. Your local retailers will appreciate it.

I’ll be back again to shop the pre-fall sale at Nordstrom (AKA-The Mothership) in July.

Spring 2021 has just begun. For me, this means I have now covered four seasons without Tom. I am coming up on the first anniversary. This means I have lived through 31,536,000 seconds without him. I use the term “lived” loosely. I have gone through all “the firsts” and now this week I am going through all of “the lasts” of his final week. I have been grieving the loss of Tom and I am also grieving the loss of the life we were supposed to continue living. It was such a great, full life and it is very hard to make this adjustment.

I need to repurpose my life. I have to come up with ideas and projects that will help me find happiness and joy again. I know this is what Tom would want for me. When I retired I had to check my “wiring” to see how I could “rewire” to adjust to a new way of living. Well, I certainly did a good job of that and it took no time at all to get on a new, very happy track. Together we took care of many family matters and spent a lot of time traveling and enjoying the world. I found in Tom the best partner that could have ever existed. We were always on the same page. He was right there for me through the death of both of my parents and a best friend. He gave me his beautiful family which has grown in size with three little humans over the past seven years, What a blessing he was in my life. Now it is up to me to make sure that these children know all about their Pop. I will keep his memory alive through photos and stories and by living the very best life I can and bring it into everyday living in his honor.

Right now the biggest thing for me is fear of having no idea what is ahead for me. The photo I have used today is a piece of art that I bought in 2011 when we were on Long Beach Island. Funny, the artist signature says “elayne”, so maybe it was meant for me. It says “To become fearless in every moment we can choose to FEAR LESS”. This is what I am trying to do. I will evaluate how best to use my Time, Talent and Treasure for the best outcome and make a contribution to this world. I feel certain that will lead to bringing happiness and joy back into my life. I know that’s what Tom wants for me.

I just hope that I find a soft place to land.

I know that the weather is crazy cold and snowy, but let’s try to think about spring’s official arrival next month. I know too, that we still aren’t venturing too far from home. You can boost your spirits while thinking about something new to buy for spring. One of the official Pandemic pastimes has been cleaning out closets. So let’s add a few new things!

Everyone is still focusing on comfort. But I bet there are some really tired looking sweatpants and sweatshirts out there. The buzz is now to have matching sets. Remember when it was so “in” to have matching velour sweat suits? Now we are seeing 2 piece sets in sweater knit or fleece for jogger pants or shorts and matching hooded tops or V-necks. They are being seen in matching colors or if you want to mix it up, have different colors but keep the fabric type matched. Loose fitting Maxi Coats are the choice for when you do go out. Of course puffer jackets are popular while the temperatures are still low, maxi coats will prevail for spring. Trench styles are popular, but the key is loose and oversized. Leggings continue, some in faux leather or with slits at the ankle to make them a bit more trendy. We may start to see a return to stirrup pants too. In Blouses you will see over-sized looks, some with smocked sleeves or just oversized button down shirts. Polo shirts will be all over by the summer. Bodysuits are also making a comeback in the top category. Sweatshirt fabric for dresses will be big this spring. These dresses can be dressed up or down with boots, sneakers or slides. Dresses will be on the loose side in prints, or fitted knits. Pants will be available in lots of prints. You will have flashbacks to the 60’s when you see some of the prints in the “party pants”. Pants will be loose and relaxed trousers . Denim will be present of course. There will be flared leg jeans, high waisted jeans with wide legs and slim boyfriend jeans.

A fabric treatment to watch is finely pleated and crinkled fabrics. This gives fabric a rich texture. The micro pleating will be on wovens and knits in tops, pants, dresses and skirts. There will also be pleating on accessories.

Speaking of accessories, this is my favorite category. Bags– I have always been “a bag lady”. There will be lots of styles out this year. I’m sure you can find something to suit your taste. There are small compact bags, cross body bags, slouchy bags, bucket bags and totes. You will see a comeback of the Coach Swinger Bag and the Gucci Jackie Bag. And colors!! Kelly Green, Bubblegum Pink, Saffron Yellow, Crimson, Chartreuse and Tangerine. Impossible not to fine something you’ll like.

Shoes– in the boot category everything has chunky lug soles. Sneakers continue to be strong. Sandals seen on the runway were platform flip flops going back to the looks of the early 2000’s. “Flatform” sandals will also be popular with lace up ties and espadrille soles. Chunky sandals will be strong. You will see exaggerated square toes and complicated straps.

Hats– bucket hats and baseball caps all over.

And, don’t despair, animal prints and tie dye prints continue.

The important take-away is JUST GET DRESSED!! Even if you are hanging in the house, if you get up and get dressed your day will be off to a better start. I have always said, GET UP, DRESS UP, SHOW UP. Have fun reducing the open space in your closet that you created during the Pandemic.

Let’s talk color for Spring. For 2021 two colors were selected as the colors of the year. The colors are Ultimate Gray and Illuminating (yellow).

I have always felt that color communicates a lot about who you are. Whether you wear it or decorate with it you are making a statement. 2020 was certainly a gray period. But, gray is the perfect neutral. It is serious, strong, stable, practical. If you only used the color gray, it would say you are neutral about life. For months we have all been in a neutral corner. And now along comes Illuminating. It is warm. It is bright. It is the light at the end of the tunnel. Let the sunshine in! Imagine a bright sunshiny day! Optimism abounds and you start to feel “up”. And we all agree, we need to feel “up” again. So, add some Illuminating to your wardrobe and your home and balance it against Ultimate Gray.

The other colors for Spring-Summer 2021 follow. The color palette is a great mix of highly wearable colors, and the core classics are just that-They are classics that transcend seasons and give you a great base to bring on your own creativity.

Last year on this day I wrote a blog that I titled 20/20 VISION. I was wondering back then if it would be possible for everyone to have clear vision in the upcoming year. I cited the words of the Johnny Nash song “I Can See Clearly Now”. Well, the whole world turned upside down this year. No one was seeing anything clearly. Too bad Johnny Nash is no longer with us to write another feel good song.

I am sure for most of us this year has been a blur. Many days have just blended together. When asked what day it is you can answer “It’s Blursday”. When I first heard this I thought, that is perfect! It does not seem like a rear view mirror could properly downsize all of the horror of this year. Nothing could possibly be worse than what I’ve gone through and what I am still going through. Taking everything into account I’ve decided that I, as well as everyone else, needs to keep moving forward. I can move forward with less fear and less worry because I have already lost so much. Is it possible to be positive? Is the human spirit strong enough?

We have to keep planning. Yes, “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry”. But we need to keep planning. If it goes in a different direction perhaps it can lead to something good for you. When in doubt, PLAN. Someone calls and says, do you want to go to the park? My mind says, “No thanks”, but out of my mouth comes “What time”? My subconscious is telling me to PLAN.

We all need a season of adventure. I know this is what my husband would want me to be thinking about after the last 9 months and I am really trying.

Here we are almost at 2021. I wish you all a blessed New Year. I wish for happiness and good health for you and the planet Earth. And as I say every year at this time, I hope that each day surprises you with something wonderful. Stay well.

Artist Suzanne Brennan Firstenberg created an art installation in Washington DC. It was a field filled with white flags. Each flag represented someone who died of Covid-19. The exhibit opened on October 23 and closed on November 30, 2020. The exhibit was titled “In America How Could This Happen”. Ms Firstenberg would update the total number of people who had died and add a white flag to represent their death. On the weekend my friend was at the exhibit the total was listed at 263,525. Less than one month has passed and the total is now 319,763. I wish I had seen this. There was an article in National Geographic by Sydney Combs about the installation. Quoting Ms Firstenberg, “look at a single flag…now conjure up a story. Think of it as a school teacher who just lost her life.” She paints a picture of all those stricken by that death. “Try to hold all of that grief-and then look up and multiply”, she said referring to all the flags. The article goes on to talk about how people across the country, including artists like Ms Firstenberg, “are doing what they can to humanize statistics and create spaces for mourning”.

For those of us living with the death of one of the 319,763 souls there is no way to be consoled. It is almost 9 months since I lost my husband. 264 days. 6,336 hours. Everyday I have to hear how many more people have died. Everyday I get to think about how I could not be with my husband as he died, how he could not have Last Rites, how there was no wake, how there was no funeral, how we did not get to celebrate his life. Everyday I get to think about the hole in my heart, the hole in our family. Everyday I get to think about how much I have to tell him about or wonder what his opinion would be about something. I just always thought we’d have so much time. We had so many more plans of what we wanted to do.

My friends and family have been tremendous support for me. I was fortunate enough to get a bereavement group specifically for Covid families. From that group I still have weekly zoom conversations with two women with whom I have formed a bond. We refer to each other as “grief sisters” or “covid widows”. We three understand exactly what each other is feeling.

My advice to anyone reading this blog is the following: in our presence NEVER talk about how the death total from this virus could have been so much worse than it is and NEVER say how such a large percentage of people only had flu-like symptoms. Be filled with gratitude if someone you loved recovered from whatever they suffered from. Consider yourself incredibly fortunate if you were not impacted in any way by this virus.

Our loved one’s place can not be filled. Please show respect for all those who have died by wearing a mask and getting a vaccine as soon as you can.